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Archive for March, 2013

Sometimes…

Sometimes even though your clock is green meaning its 5:30 and ok to get up it still feels best to catch a few extra minutes of sleep in Mommy’s bed.

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By Herself

She wants to do everything by herself lately so I was not at all surprised to find her up on her stool rifling through her dresser finding what she wanted to wear to school today.

I can pick it out myself Mama.

Of course she picked purple.

I can get dressed myself Mama. I don’t need ANY help…

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See Mama I’m doing it…

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These are my COMFFFYYYY jeans Mama.

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She did very good without any help. She’s growing up so fast.

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A Big Adventure

10 years ago today I started out on a trip to begin the biggest adventure of my life… Marriage.

We left for Las Vegas on Wednesday March 26th. My red Pontiac Grand Am was packed tight with wedding decorations, luggage, tons of road snacks and laying gently on the very top my wedding dress. It was only 3 short days away from our wedding day.

I was so excited to start that road trip to start the biggest adventure of my life.

I didn’t know then how hard the road ahead of us was going to be at times. I wasn’t thinking about endometriosis and infertility at that time those words had never crossed my mind. I also didn’t know how great this adventure was going to be. I didn’t comprehend what it was going to be like ten years later when the same person can still make me laugh with just a look. I didn’t truly understand what it meant to have someone love me at my worst times.

Needless to say that drive was just the beginning. I am so glad we are still traveling in the same direction together.

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Ok to Wake

As I’ve mentioned getting Kahlan to stay and sleep in her bed all night has been a huge struggle. In January we finally got control of the situation and Kahlan started sleeping in her own bed but she was still calling for me several times a night. In February we got it down to no calling for Mommy until about 4:30 when she would call for me ask if it was morning yet and when I told her no she would go right back to sleep until about 6:30.

So as a farewell gift the Sleeping Fairy brought Kahlan an Ok to Wake Clock.

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We love this clock and it has worked a miracle in this house. You can set the clock to turn green at a certain time in the morning. So Kahlan now knows when she wakes up and the clock is not green she had to go back to sleep but if it is green it is morning time and it is ok to get up and come into our room.

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The difference has been amazing except for a few nights where she was sick with an awful earache there has been no calling for Mommy and Daddy which makes for a much happier more rested houseful of people.

Love Love Love this clock!

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I dislike winter. I dislike snow. I dislike cold. I dislike blogging in the winter because we are boring.

This winter seems never ending. I want to blog about…

Swinging

Swimming

Camping

Riding our Bikes

Going to the Park

Building Sand Castles

Blowing Bubbles

Eating Watermelon

Going to the Zoo

Going to the Special Park (aka Bay Beach)

Drawing with Sidewalk Chalk

Making S’mores

Come on spring where are you? We are ready and waiting. Please send warmer weather soon!

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March is endometriosis awareness month.

I along with millions of other women have endometriosis. Endometriosis is the reason I am infertile. Endometriosis is a a painful medical condition. It is not a bad period. It is not bad cramps. I live with the pain of endometriosis everyday.

When we were trying to get pregnant the pain of endometriosis consumed me. I had surgery to try and relieve some of the pain. Because of where the lesions were they were not able to remove it all. Anything left will just continue to grow and cause pain.

Since having Kahlan I try not to talk much about having endometriosis. I feel guilty complaining when I am so very lucky to have not let this horrible disease steal my chance of being her mommy. I never want to appear ungrateful when I am so very blessed. I tell myself how much worse it could be after all it’s just chronic pain. I can power through this it’s not like I have cancer. I feel guilty complaining when things could be so much worse.

But on days like today when the pain is so bad that I can barely raise my right arm because my organs are all bound together by the scar tissue and so inflamed that lifting my arm any more than a couple of inches causes searing pain down my whole right side I hate endometriosis. I hate that it is never going away. I hate that there is no cure. I hate that people don’t understand it. I hate that because of it I am infertile and will never have another baby to hold.

On days like today it is easy to throw myself a little pity party. It is so easy to let the pain consume me. It would be so easy to just curl up in a little ball and cry. But I promised myself I would be strong. I promised myself I would be strong for myself and for my daughter. So I am going to stop complaining. Remembering that you don’t truly know how strong you are until you don’t have a choice. Holding my daughter close and smiling because I won the battle to be her mom and reminding myself never to let the pain define me. I am strong. I will continue to be strong for her. My illness will not define me. My strength and courage to keep fighting it will.

March is endometriosis awareness month. Endometriosis is part of my story…

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