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Archive for November, 2011

We have spent the last couple of days recovering from a great Thanksgiving spent with both of our families and from a weekend of decorating our house for Christmas. That on top of Kahlan coming down with the flu over the weekend has made for some very busy days.

Thanksgiving was all that I could have asked for. We had a blast with my family on Thursday. I love it when we are all together. Kahlan was spoiled with attention from my whole family. She was glued to my brother Jason and all she has talked about since we have gotten home is when she gets to go to GrandMA’s house and see her “Auntie Jason” again!

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We spent Saturday celebrating Thanksgiving with my husband’s parents, his brother and our niece Rachel. My husband made the best meal. It was so neat seeing Kahlan and Rachel together. Kahlan would not leave poor Rachel alone. Since Kahlan doesn’t have any other cousins in the state it was very special to see them together.

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We were able to set up our Christmas tree this weekend. Kahlan says our house now looks “pretty”. She actually did a really good job putting up the tree this year. It held her interest much longer than last year. She insisted on getting purple ornaments and I like it that our tree really reflects her personality this year. Not only did we decorate the house I also convinced my husband to hang lights outside our house this year, that was very exciting!

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Kahlan came down with the flu on Sunday night and so we had a rough Sunday and Monday. I ended up getting it too on Monday… so needless to say we have spent most of this week curled up on the couch cuddling.

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So that’s what we have been up to for the last couple of days. Here’s to hoping our life gets back into somewhat of a routine for the next couple of weeks before the holidays hit us in full force.

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Sometimes I read something that I had written back in the days when we were battling with infertility and it makes me cry.

Sometimes I forget how much we wished for our baby. Sometimes I forget how much we struggled to have her. Sometimes I forget to hold her extra tight and give her an extra kiss before bed. Sometimes I forget that she is everything I have ever wanted. Sometimes I forget she is our true miracle.

In 2002 for Christmas, my Mom bought me a Christmas Journal. And every year I have dutifully written down all the details of every Christmas day, from where we celebrated, to what we ate, to the gifts we received. At the end of the page there is a place to jot down additional thoughts, in 2005 (3 years before we got pregnant with Kahlan) I wrote: “Hopefully this will be our last Christmas without a baby or a baby on the way to us.”

It is so fun to be able to go back and remember the last 9 years. But, it’s hard to remember the years that were consumed by the pain of infertility that truly did affect every aspect of my life. But it is also good to be reminded of how much I wanted to start the amazing journey of being a mother.

It is so easy to get bogged down with daily life that you forget how truly blessed you are. I had almost stopped believing I would ever be a mom, but somehow here I am with a beautiful two year old little girl who most days thinks I hung the moon.

So today I will remember the pain. Today I will remember how much we wished for our baby. Today I will remember how much we struggled to have her. Today I will hold her extra tight and give her an extra kiss before bed. Today I will remember that she is everything I have ever wanted. Today I will remember that she is our true miracle.

Kahlan Elizabeth, thank you so much for healing your mommy. I love you to the moon and back and I ALWAYS will.

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Mama, I love you 3

Kahlan is in love with the number 3.

Her school recently combined the kids in the 2 and 3 year old room and Kahlan’s best friend is 3.

Kahlan wants to be 3 so bad.

If you tell Kahlan she can’t do something because she is too little, she will ask, “Do when I 3?”

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do, she’ll say, “Not ‘til I 3.” We run into this one A LOT at bedtime.

She always wants 3 of everything.

She wants to take 3 babies to the store with us, she wants 3 treats, or to take just 3 more bites of dinner.

So I have to admit, it melted my heart today when Kahlan told me, “Mama, I love you 3.”

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Fun Photo Friday

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Auntie Megan’s homemade ice-cream…YUMMY!!

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Okay guys today is the day we have all been waiting for! I can’t wait to go to my mom’s house, watch the Packers beat the Lions and stuff myself on turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing and of course a big piece of pecan pie!

So I couldn’t end my blogs about being thankful without mentioning how grateful I am for all our family and friends. We are truly blessed to have so many people to love who also love us in return.

Happy Happy Thanksgiving!!

Go Pack Go!

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So tomorrow is the big day. It will finally be Thanksgiving. Only one more day to get through and I will be heading down state to spend some quality time with my family.

Today I have to mention how thankful I am for all the traditions that I was raised with and because of that all the traditions I will be able to pass down to Kahlan along with creating some very special traditions of our own. Anyone who knows me knows I am all about tradition.

It can be the simplest of things. Like how my mom always got us a new outfit to wear to school on our birthdays and let us pick our favorite meal to eat that day. And no matter what we picked she always made it. Things like how my mom and always spend April 14th together (the day my Grandma passed away) shopping, laughing, and going out to lunch, but most of all remembering a very very special lady. Or how every year since I can remember we have gone to the apple orchard to get a caramel apple, the official start of fall in my mind. Things like how my mom and I get together every December to bake Christmas cookies using my Grandpa’s recipes or how my mom sends all us kids an email in early November asking what kind of pie we want for Thanksgiving and she will make as many different pies as we want (I of course always choose Grandma’s Pecan Pie). These are the most special memories to me, memories that I love passing on to Kahlan.

Scott and I have created some of our own traditions with Kahlan over the last 2 ½ years like taking her to the Packer Pro Shop every year before the start of the football season and letting her pick out a Packer Jersey. Taking her to the pumpkin patch every year to pick out whichever pumpkin she has wanted, going for a horse drawn wagon ride, followed by lunch with Mama and Daddy at Texas Roadhouse. Last year we created a new tradition with her called The 12 Days of Christmas where she gets a small gift to open every day for the 12 days leading up to Christmas and this year I am excited to start the tradition of the Elf on the Shelf with her (but more on that later.)

So today I am so thankful for a family that taught me that it’s not the material things in life that count, but it’s the special things, the traditions that you create and pass down to the people that you love that truly make the difference.

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Being Thankful Day 8

We are getting close now… 2 more days until Thanksgiving. I’m getting so excited. I love the holidays.

So carrying on with the thankful theme…

I am so thankful that during my struggle with infertility that I had the most amazing infertility coordinator in the whole world, Carmen. I don’t know what I would have done without Carmen during those last few years of our battle with infertility.

I was first officially diagnosed with being infertile by a member of the medical profession on October 30, 2006. This was after two and a half years of actively trying on our own to get pregnant. We had decided we were ready to become parents in January of 2004 after almost being married for a year. The doctor who diagnosed me as being infertile basically told me I was infertile and then tossed a stack of pamphlets on my lap and told me it was very expensive to have a baby by in vitro fertilization… really? Needless to say that is the last time I stepped foot in her office.

I met Carmen in February of 2007 after waiting 2 long months to get an appointment at her clinic. She sat me down in her office and she talked to me like I was a real person. She hugged me as I cried when they told me I was going to need surgery to get an actual diagnosis of endometriosis.

After my surgery in March of 2007, I called Carmen at least once a week as she needed to record all my symptoms, all the important days of my cycles and as the months went by and nothing happened she would console me, she never stopped believing that a miracle was going to happen for me and some days that was the only thing that got me through the pain (both physical and emotional).

I found out I was pregnant on Thursday July 12th, 2008. As soon as the clinic opened I was on the phone with them and they scheduled me to come and do and HCG test. Thursday is Carmen’s day off at the clinic. I had barely scheduled my appointment when Carmen was calling me from home (actually she was on her boat) congratulating me and crying with me.

In January of 2009 when I went into the clinic and the nurse could not find Kahlan’s heartbeat. Carmen sat with me for 2 hours while we ran a NST and stress tests on the baby. She held my hand while I called my husband and let him know that there might be something wrong with my baby. And in February of 2009 when I was so dehydrated and needed to go to the hospital to get fluids it was Carmen who called to check on me and make sure that I was okay.

So even though she wasn’t actually in the delivery room the day Kahlan was born, I feel like she is such an amazing part of my journey to be a mommy and Kahlan’s actual birth story. And she was one of the 1st people I called to let her know that I had a beautiful and healthy baby.

To Carmen it was just her job, but to me it was so much more than that. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without her. Infertility is so hard, I am just so glad I had her on my side to help me through the tough stuff.

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