Archive for October, 2011

5 years ago on October 30, 2006 I was officially diagnosed as being infertile. Even though in the back of my head I knew something was wrong it was the hardest thing I had ever had to hear. And even though I knew normal couples don’t try for 2 years to have a baby and have NOTHING happen hearing “the word” for the 1st time out loud pretty much shattered my world.

When I see October 30th on the calendar I still get a lump in my throat and feel the pain of that awful day.

It was on that day that I first believed I might never hold my own baby in my arms.

It was the day that I first allowed myself to believe that there was something actually wrong with my body.

It was the most completely alone I had ever felt.

The worst part of infertility is the unknown. When you decide to fight to have a child you go into it not knowing if at the end of the battle your arms and heart will be full with the love of a child or if you will be just as empty (although more exhausted) than when you started the battle.

I know I am one of the lucky ones.

My battle with infertility ended with our miracle.

It’s a battle that I do not have the strength to fight again which at times is so painful, because I know Kahlan would make the best big sister ever.

But even that is okay, because when I am reminded of the thousands of woman who are still struggling to try and have their own miracle I am reminded of how incredibly lucky I am to have my beautiful baby girl, my fighter.

It only seems right that God sent us her as I am pretty sure she fought just as hard to get to us as we fought to have her.

And that will ALWAYS be enough. ALWAYS.


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Fun Photo Friday


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No More Diapers

It’s official… Kahlan is totally potty trained!!

We have not had a daytime accident in months. She stopped wearing a daytime diaper in August and we have had absolutely no accidents.

I have been a little leery about her not wearing a diaper at night even though she has woke up dry for the last month, just because most nights she ends up in our bed at some time during the night and really who wants to deal with that mess.

But on Sunday night, she was adamant about wearing “unders” to bed and not a diaper and so we decided to give it a try… and for the last 4 mornings she has woke up completely dry!

I am so proud of my little girl.

She was a breeze to potty train, in fact she did almost all the work herself.

I can’t believe how fast she is growing up.

Oh and by the way I have already thought of ways to spend the money we were saving on diapers!


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I’ve never really been a huge fan of thunderstorms. When I was little I would cuddle up with my Cabbage Patch Kid, Kimberly Ann and hide under the covers of my bed. So it didn’t strike me as odd when this year Kahlan started to notice when it thundered and started to be a little jumpy when it was storming.

Scott took her fear in stride. One day when it was thundering outside he took Kahlan to the window and told her that she didn’t have to be afraid of the thunder because when it thunders it is a reminder of her silly cousin Luke and all that was noise was just Louie bowling with the angels.

Scott’s cousin Luke died when he was only 12 years old in August of 2006. It is very important to us to keep Luke’s memory alive for Kahlan because Luke was so special to us.

All summer whenever it has stormed outside, Kahlan has done really well with not being scared. She has come up to me several times during storms and asked, “Luke Bowling?” and I’ve told her yes and we’ve gone and looked at his picture and talked about what a great cousin he was.

Today we had a particularly loud thunderstorm and it was really throwing Kahlan for a loop. She jumped several times before coming up to me and asking. “Mama, why Luke be so loud?” I told her he must be bowling really well today. Then she said, “Mama, I go see Luke?” which of course brought tears to my eyes. So we went up to Daddy’s Star Wars Room and we looked at pictures of Luke and we played with Luke’s Darth Vader Helmet…

… and we missed Luke together.

If love alone could have spared you…you would have lived forever.

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Kahlan Elizabeth Fall 2010

Kahlan Elizabeth Fall 2011

Kahlan Elizabeth Fall 2010

Kahlan Elizabeth Fall 2011

3 Generations Fall 2010

3 Generations Fall 2011

Kahlan Elizabeth Fall 2010

Kahlan Elizabeth Fall 2011

My beautiful little girl is getting so big. She has this huge personality and great sense of humor. I can’t believe how much she has changed in a year. I love her so much!

All of these photos are courtesy of our very favorite photographer Auntie Megan!

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Every fall since I can remember, my mom has taken me to Tom Dooley’s apple orchard to get a caramel apple. To me, it isn’t officially fall until I get my caramel apple. For the last 3 years, we have been able to take Kahlan along with us on our annual trip to the orchard.

I absolutley love including her in this tradition. This year, Kahlan was especially interested in the bakery at the orchard.

Needless to say we were with GrandMA! so of course she got an apple donut.

We got Daddy some fresh picked apples and of course Auntie Megan and Mama got their annual caramel apple.

It was just a great day hanging out with the people that I love most in this world.

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Fun Photo Friday



Helping Daddy is hard work!!

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